Hi. If you want to know how does it feels like to be a loner, you can ask me. In my previous school, there were approximately 1000 students. Maybe more. To be honest, I feel like I have never fit in with any of the 1K students. Why? I'm always alone. I eat with different people everyday, and I'm not in the same club as any of my friends. I think in form 1, I found myself to be the only only form 1 that is active in softball. Anyway, what brought me here today is group pictures. In my previous school, I was never in any group photos unless it is some huge occasion. For example, I represent the school or something. Other than that, I'm invisible. I was rarely invited to any gathering or open houses too. Maybe that's why I am not so sociable. But, I like it that way.
Recently, I talked to my old friend. She said I'm very sociable IN SCHOOL. Well, I agree. I talk to everyone and listen to everyone. But to be true. There is no one there to listen to me. Listen to my problems. That's why I've created a blog. To pour everything out. I write poems so that I can express myself. And I write songs. So, that I can laugh at myself. Telling myself that is okay. And it is fine.
Everytime I see photos of my old friends, I feel sad. Cause I never get the opportunity to do so. I feel like I have never really been their true or even close friends. Why? Bacause they didnt even bother to keep a picture of me as memory when I have tonnes of their pictures. It kills me inside cause I feel like I am not preciated for some reason. But well, I guess it is just how it meant to be. I am meant to be left out and forgotten. I am meant to be ignored. And I am meant to be invisible.
But then, Alhamdulillah. Now, in my new school, I dont feel left out that much. Even if I walk alone, I know there will be one or two person who wish that she could be there accompanying me. And everytime I am around, they never forget to invite me to join in the group photos they take. I am very greatful. Or however we spell it. Well, ciao! :)
