I love.......

So many things to say, but
A thousand words stuck at the tip of my tongue
The only words that I am able to say is that
I love him, I really do.

I love how he looks at me,
He makes me feel like having me is enough,
His eyes shine in my presence,
And it felt like the time stops when our eyes meet.

I love how he teases me,
His sarcasm never fails to amuse me,
He never gets offended when I tease him back,
And always so honest when the joke hits him hard.

I love the smell of his jacket,
That wraps around me to keep me warm,
And how he always pass it under the table,
Just because.....

I love how he calls my name,
Whenever he wants me to stay,
I can feel his thoughts in his voice,
Wanting me to be close to him, always.

I love how he gets jealous,
He'll be really frank and it's adorable,
Talk and fret about it,
Like a little baby seeking for attention.

I love his ego,
The one that I can challenge and make fun of,
He never admits to things,
But I'm always able to see right through him.

I love his insecurities,
He always think that he is not enough,
But really, I couldn't ask for more
He's everything I ever asked for.

Our journey has a long way to go,
The path is uncertain in so many ways,
We have years more walk by,
Just hope that our love will only grow stronger.

-shs-

Is it him?

All this while I've been searching. I have my own vision of how I want my marriage life to be like. Everyone does right? 

Many are not aware that a guy should prioritize their parents and not their wife. Knowing that fact, I have always wanted someone who is able to fulfill their duty as a son well and I will be his support system; being by his side through all that responsibilities and hardship. 

Many are not aware that a woman has to obey their husband as long as it doesn't oppose the teaching of Islam. Woman these days are too proud of themselves and their career that they have forgotten the responsibilities of a wife. Or maybe they weren't taught much about it. Hopefully I will always remember this responsibility.

There are too much to write when it comes to my dream guy. Well, it is a DREAM guy after all, so everyone can dream. To cut things short, I just want a guy who is knowledgeable especially in religion, so that he is able to guide me in this life and hereafter. Inshaa Allah everything will come easy if he is well taught about the religion because Islam is perfect, only Muslims are not. 

This time around, I think I have found him. If he is really meant for me, may Allah ease my journey to complete half of the deen. 

Thank you for showing up in my life. 

Papers

Staring at a blank piece of paper,
wondering what to write,
I have so many in mind,
that nothing is coming out.

A white sheet is how it is,
The imagination of my life,
When the truth is the opposite,
Everything is in fact black.

As tears racing down my cheeks,
In the dark I sat,
Hoping to be saved by someone,
To catch a glimpse of light and shine again.

Little did I know,
That sheet of paper has turned darker,
Only a change of heart can bring back,
The light that is once gone and turn it white.

shs

Sanctuary

Just when I thought I have found my sanctuary,

It turns out to be just another theory,

Proven not by time,

Simply just a paradigm. 

Just when I thought I've grown stronger,

Intense emotions make me ponder,

If there are such things as happiness,

Cause my sights are filled with angriness.

Money should not be what we seek,

Harmonious environment we should keep,

If those principles are at loss,

Surely the world will turn into a chaos.

If this is the world's reality,

I shall live in solitary,

Away from fights and corruptions, 

As I am afraid of this modern disruption.

shs